bye STPM

i'm free now.... after three weeks of hard time, now everything has come to its end. i don't know how to discribe my feeling.i only know that i'm happy since my stpm is over now but still worrying for my results. i really done a very very very... bad job.this is the first time i have this kind of feeling since kindergarten....i never take the exam so seriously before...even spm also i can go shopping and watch tv but why...this time i really sacrifice my time to sleep, to go shopping n to watch tv but i still don't to perform well in stpm.. i know that my memory is not as good as normal person so i spent quite a lot of time to memories biology but everything that came out are those that i neglect....besides that my brain can't function well in English since English is my main weakness..i think that at most i can only manage to get a A. now i only hope that i won't fail my biology paper 2...n maths paper 2, chem paper 2 as well....as a conclusion, hope that i will pass all the 8 papers..

a sad day

why the life of a person is so fragile? this morning, i really hope that i'm still inside my dream when sze yin told me that our primary school friend chan ya yan had just pass away>> i'm shock and my brain goes blank..it is imposibble!!! maybe sze yin is just joking, it won't be true. but things have happen and no one can change this truth, even the god... i have lost a friend !_!
i have been same class with her since standard 3..cheng wei, jie hsin, she and me used to be very close friends. we like to work in group...we play together, we joke together, and we even cheat together...ya, i'm the one receiving the paper that they thrown to me and try to write down my answers for them so that all of us can get almost identical results. we were really have a sweet and cherish memories~~ i'll always keep this inside my heart forever.
on the evening, i'm alone at home...i sms jie hsin and ask her what are they plan to do. then she send the address of ya yan's funeral parlour. jie hsin will go there at night with her secondary school's friends include cheng wei( they are all from bandar baru sri petaling)i try to call sze yin but she din't answer my call. then i call xue yin and she too does not answer my call>> i do not know what can i do,i really wish to see her for the last time...really last time.....
then i sms chean wuern and finally i have a respond... but she told me that sze yin ask her to wait at esso with other friends. once again i take up my phone and call sze yin, and this time she do answer my phone. she told me that she just take a nap , so she'll come and fetch me tonight.
when we reach there, some of my friends already reach there. i try to control myself from crying. tonight.......almost 70% of our ex-classmates in class 6A are here! some of them say that it is the most successful gathering since we graduate but i would rather not to have this kind of gathering...i only hope that all of us can live healthly..
her mother keep on crying and griefing>>i know that it is hard to receive the reality but i still hope that her mother will become tougher after this incident.
let wind blow away our sadness
let rain wash away our worries
let time fade away our sorrow
may sun brings us warm and hope

my holiday

now only i realise that when there is a new member in your family, things will start to change.... since the first day my sister gave birth to my nephew, my emotion totally controlled by the new born baby!! i still remember that there was a hazy day and i'm staying back at school for jamuan.when i reach home, i expected my parents already leave for work but they were still waiting for me. then they told me that we have a new member in our family. at first i not really catch what they mean then only i realise that my nephew just can't wait for two more months to see this beautiful world!!!i was so happy at that moment but....i'm alone at home so i call wan teang to share out my happiness.i was so happy and actually i was crying when i talk to her in phone( maybe she din't realise this).everyday i keep on thinking on the baby and hope that i can see him. last saturday only the baby can go back home because he need to get extra treatment.
then last sunday only i have chance to visit my nephew but he was sleeping when we visit him. so i plan to visit him once again on tuesday because my parents not need to work. then the whole tuesday i stay at my sister there to company my nephew(but i told them that i want to have more time with my sister). i even score my sister for not keeping her fingernails short because this may hurt the baby.
but unfortunately at wednesday morning, my sister find out that the baby's face looks pale and turn into green colour. he even feel difficult to breath.then they rush the baby to hospital. the doctor say that this is due to virus infection because he is too young and not yet well develope.i feel very sorry because maybe i'm the virus carrier.i'm actually very worried about him but don't know what can i do. once again, i cry and cry....this is the only way to express my feeling. my sister told me that next week only the baby can go back home.
my sister ask me not to worried too much but i just can't do this. everyday and at every moment i just can't stop worrying about him.tomorrow will be the last day of our holiday but all my homework remain untouch...i have no mood for all this. everyday i spent 12 hours to sleep, 4 hours to eat, 6 hours to watch tv, 2 hours to help my mom and 24 hours non stop thinking of my nephew... this will be the normal things that i'll do when i'm down or too worry about something.

my nephew

baby...baby....oh, my nephew>> finally, aunt come to see you lor!!!!actually, yesterday only the baby can go back home because he is only seven month( but 4.4 pounds, considered as ok liao). when i reach my sister's house, baby already fall in sleep. my sister trying to wake him up but the little guy seens like having his sweet dream.what a cute baby!! my sister wrapped the baby with three to four piece of cloths. the reason is the lipid layer beneath his skin not yet well develope thus causing him easierly feel cold. my grandmother(motherside) purposely ask my cousin to fetch her from kuala selangor just to visit my sister. i'll go and visit my sister once again by next tuesday...actually they only stay at sri petaling( quite near with my house but the problem is i got no transport) so if can then for sure i'll go there everyday.

new born baby

my sister just give birth to a baby boy...i'm so happy and feel excited!! however, my sister give birth before the expected time, almost one and a half month earlier. i really hope that i can see the baby now..don't know the baby looks like his dad or his mom??i just can't stop thinking about my nephew. maybe this thursday i can go to visit my nephew....hehe

111 days before stpm

i get band 4 for my muet...i really feel so sad and wondering why i can get such a low marks in my writing paper. although i know that my essay use to be very poor but how can i only get half of the marks that allocated for that paper...if my essay really poor but at least my summary can help a bit in that case.but..nevermind, i have decided to sit for it again in the end of this year so i will make sure that i can get band 5. this thursday pn tan has given us a test for thermochemistry and i get full marks....i'm so happy because i'm the only one that get full marks..hahahah.by the way, yesterday we got another test but i think my result will be quite bad..i not really understand this topic(electrochemistry) and sze yin just told me that i have used the wrong equation..
next week we will be test on equilibrium and i'll try my best to fully understand this topic by monday so that i can try some question before the test (if i have time)

stress

i really don't know what else should i write in my blog....nowadays my life become so busy that i can't even have time to think of other things except my homework!! everyday is like repeating the same thing over and over again..wake up, going to school then going back home, doing homework,watching tv, sleep and wake up on next morning.....
but what else can i do besides this??? my aim is getting 4 points in my stpm so i know that i suppose to work hard now>>> by the way, i think that the 4 points are like too farrrrrrrrr away from me because if using my poor result now to apply for u, maybe i don't even get a seat inside the u!!!!am i wasting my 2 years time in form six??????